Voice Dialogue

Voice Dialogue is a technique used to assist individuals in unhitching from ways of being that they are unconsciously locked into. We all have certain attributes that we use to describe ourselves and we often believe that this is “who we are”. (In Charge, Don’t rock the boat, Adventurer, Risk manager, Caretaker, Independent, Emotionally Available, Emotionally Reserved, Realist, Life of the party, All Business etc.). We perceive our way of being as the correct way that everyone else should be. Usually we believe that major catastrophe would occur if we stopped being this way. We would suffer personally or our loved ones or people who count on us would suffer immeasurably. The truth is that being so “locked in” to specific behavior or energy patterns enslaves us and prohibits us from living in balance. More often this imbalance leads to tension, general unhappiness, as well as relationship and health problems. The voice dialogue process provides a format for separating from the parts we are locked into and embracing some of the energy available to us that we have disowned. The result being that we can loosen up the handcuffs we have unconsciously bound ourselves with and often move forward in areas of our lives where we had previously been held back.

The Voice Dialogue process was created as a method that applies to Hal & Sidra Stone’s, “Psychology of Selves” theory. This theory tells us that every individual has a multi-faceted internal system of sub-personalities which operates within their psyche. Each “self” begins to develop as we grow based on learned experiences in our early family, social environment, childhood experiences, and personal growth or transformative processes. Although each self emerges more fully over time based on having more experiences, it can only be the way it is. It is locked into seeing the world through its one perspective, it retains a set of memories that support its views, lives by specific rules and has certain fears and concerns. For example, a pusher self can only be a pusher, it can’t be empathetic, it has a specific job to do. Our many inner selves take turns being in charge and dealing with moment by moment interactions and thought processes, however our “primary selves” tend to win the battle to be in the driver’s seat of our psyche in most occasions.

As we grow, we begin to identify most closely with a particular group of selves, which we refer to as our primary selves. These are the ways of being that we learned will allow us to navigate most smoothly in the world. By becoming identified with certain ways of being, on an unconscious level, we perceive that we have protected ourselves from serious emotional or physical harm. At the same time that we have become identified with the ways we should be, we have also determined the ways that we should never be and we suppress or disown those opposite selves. An example might be a man who is primarily identified with being a responsible father who has totally disowned his ability to be playful or carefree. Many women become primarily identified in a caregiver role and then suppress the energy system of self care. A person primarily identified with being creative or artistic may disown their rational mind self.

The voice dialogue technique allows us to separate from the selves we have become identified with and to embrace the selves we have disowned. This does not mean that we become the type of person we most dislike, it just gives us freedom to release ourselves from the unconscious prison that the primary selves hold us in. It allows for freedom to create more balance in our lives by having safe access to all of the energy available to us. In the example above, the woman primarily identified as caregiver would now have the ability to create balance by nurturing herself in some ways without feeling guilt or shame. The responsible father could begin to enjoy some real time off from the pressures and burdens of being in charge 24/7. The artist may benefit by bringing in some ability to get his or her financial matters or marketing in order.

How does a little freedom sound to you? It may just be the right time to experience the incredibly transformative benefits of Voice Dialogue for yourself.

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Call to find out more about how Voice Dialogue could help with your unique situation (206) 391-1170.